Tonite just after bedtime Charlotte came out of her room and said she felt low. As usual she was accurate...Jay helped her check and she was 58 with insulin from dessert still on board. We gave her a juice box and 2 glucose tabs and sent her back to bed. It (treating low blood sugar) is a routine that isn't uncommon around our house lately...and I hate to say it's one I've become pretty numb to over time.
Jay and I stayed up and watched a movie. Once it was over, I went in to check on Charlotte one more time before going to sleep.
I walked in the room...my two precious girls snuggled up together. I leaned in with a sigh of relief to see Charlotte's chest with a steady rise and fall. I touched her back...her skin was clammy. As I pulled her hand toward me to check her sugar she mumbled something. It sounded like she said "low" to me...as I lanced her tiny finger I asked her what she said, but she had already drifted into a deep slumber. I held my breath as the meter counted down. Those 5 seconds felt like an eternity...but ended in relief as the screen flashed a good bedtime number back at me.
I started back to my bedroom as usual...but along the way it hit me...hard! I thought to myself how is it that just a few hours earlier we were giving Charlotte the juice and tabs to keep her from dropping too low...essentially saving her life...and then just carrying on as usual. How is it that I just went to check on my little girl to make sure she was okay...still breathing and not having a hypoglycemic emergency...and now I'm headed off to bed???
It hit me right in the gut. What if tonite her meter was off and she really was low...and she slips away. I know it's a reality...it could happen just like that...in an instant. It could happen despite all the precautions taken and doing everything "right". It happens to other families. It could happen to us.....
It hit me hard tonite that for the better part of the past (nearly) six years I've put this stone wall up around me trying to keep our "new normal" normal and routine even though it's far from it.
So here I lay typing this post....thinking of it all...grieving the loss of our "normalcy" once again....but still resolving to wake up strong in the morning to "carry on as usual" for my precious girl.
Thursday, September 22, 2011
Monday, September 19, 2011
So it's been almost 2 months since my last blog post...I have no idea where the time has gone! All I can say is that it's been crazy around here lately! Fall always has a way of feeling like this to me...hopefully things will settle down by Christmas (wow...did I just say Christmas...I can't start thinking about that yet, we're not even into October)!
For our family, the hustle and bustle started with back to school very early in August...it seems like school starts earlier and earlier every year! In addition to all of the back to school shopping we spent plenty time preparing Charlotte's emergency box and daily D kit (that she carries with her everywhere), updating emergency forms for school staff, and meeting with Charlotte's new teacher for a Type 1 "crash course"! Fortunately everything went very smoothly...we are truly blessed to have such a great school staff! Of course there's no rest for the weary around here so before the dust even got a chance to settle we began planning Charlotte's birthday party! (Talk about time flying....how in the world is my little baby 8 years old already!!!) The party with family was supposed to take place Labor Day weekend, but unfortunately it ended up cancelled...Tropical Storm Lee had other plans for us :( So now I'm working on a combined birthday party for Charlotte and her little sister...I'm holding out hope for beautiful weather and cooler temperatures early next month!
Between the daily grind of work, managing our family and home...not to mention dealing with the highs and lows of T1...I've been getting our annual Walk to Cure preparations underway! I'm hoping that I can get our shirt design finalized by this weekend and start getting a list together of our team members and their shirt sizes (hint, hint team members).
I can't believe our walk is less than 2 months away already! Our fundraising has started off with a bang and I hope we can keep the momentum going! So with that...our family team letters will be hitting the post office this week...and our annual Walk video has finished production! So sit back and enjoy...while I go catch my breath :)
Posted by Michelle at 10:25 PM