Diabetes Blog Week - Day 2; A letter to Charlotte

It's Day 2 of the 2nd Annual Diabetes Blog Week! And today is letter writing day...so I've chosen to write a letter to my daughter, Charlotte, who was diagnosed with Type 1 diabetes 5-1/2 years ago at the age of 2.
(Warning: reading the contents of this letter may cause fluid leakage from the eyes)

My little ladybug - Charlotte
dx'd with Type 1 on 10/31/2005

Dear Charlotte,

There is just so much to say...yet I'm not really sure where to begin. We've been at this "D-thing" together now for just over 5-1/2 years. I'll never forget the day you were diagnosed...picking you up early from daycare and taking you to the pediatrician. "The thought" had crossed my mind, but I didn't think it could be true! You were so young and innocent...and I didn't want that to change. I didn't want D to force it's way into our home and take away your carefree childhood...but, as you know, D doesn't listen and entered our lives anyway.

You've been amazing about all of this from the very beginning....even though I know you would wish it all away in a second if you could! I know there were times when you fought and cried when it was time for your shots or site change....but I can't say I blame you, I'm sure, in your shoes, I would have done the same thing (or even worse...just ask Am-Maw)! I know that you've gotten braver over the years and you don't cry anymore...but I know it still hurts; I want you to know it's okay to say that...and even to cry sometimes if you want or need to!

You're dealing with some hard stuff, sweetie...much more than I ever had to at your age....and you're doing an incredible job!!! You've learned so much more than I could have imagined you would over these past few years. And you've grown and matured beyond your years....it's bittersweet to me. You've learned how to make healthy food choices, count carbs, check your sugar, work your insulin pump, recognize when you feel low...the list goes on and on. Most kids your age don't even know what carbs are, let alone how to figure out how many they are eating or drinking! You've made me proud by learning to become (mostly) independent with your D-tasks...but at the same time it makes me sad that these are things that you've had to learn.

Although you haven't come right out and said it, I know you've been a bit burned-out lately dealing with D...I see that look in your eyes when you're interrupted from your fun to deal with D. I wish with every ounce of my being that I could just take it all on myself for you...even those nasty glucocoasters. But since I can't really do that, I'll do the next best thing. I promise to be the best mama pancreas I can be and to relieve you from your sugar checks, insulin bolusing, and "low" snack grabbing duties whenever you need a break from it all! I know it's not as good as a cure, but it's the best I can do for now....and we'll work together toward finding that elusive cure!

And speaking of the cure....I want you to know how incredibly proud I am that, even at 7 years old, you are learning to be proactive -- fundraising and advocating for better care and eventually a cure! You aren't just sitting around waiting for the cure to happen. You're doing great things and making a difference, not just for you but for everyone out there living with Type 1 diabetes...and those who haven't yet been diagnosed.

I'm not sure if I ever told you this before, but...ladybug, you are my hero! You've been faced with more in your 7-1/2 years of life than many people are faced with in a lifetime...yet you don't let it get the best of you or drag you down, instead you are taking the lemons you've been handed and making lemonade!

I love you my ladybug!

Forever,
Mommy