Diabetes Blog Week - Day 2; A letter to Charlotte

It's Day 2 of the 2nd Annual Diabetes Blog Week! And today is letter writing day...so I've chosen to write a letter to my daughter, Charlotte, who was diagnosed with Type 1 diabetes 5-1/2 years ago at the age of 2.
(Warning: reading the contents of this letter may cause fluid leakage from the eyes)

My little ladybug - Charlotte
dx'd with Type 1 on 10/31/2005

Dear Charlotte,

There is just so much to say...yet I'm not really sure where to begin. We've been at this "D-thing" together now for just over 5-1/2 years. I'll never forget the day you were diagnosed...picking you up early from daycare and taking you to the pediatrician. "The thought" had crossed my mind, but I didn't think it could be true! You were so young and innocent...and I didn't want that to change. I didn't want D to force it's way into our home and take away your carefree childhood...but, as you know, D doesn't listen and entered our lives anyway.

You've been amazing about all of this from the very beginning....even though I know you would wish it all away in a second if you could! I know there were times when you fought and cried when it was time for your shots or site change....but I can't say I blame you, I'm sure, in your shoes, I would have done the same thing (or even worse...just ask Am-Maw)! I know that you've gotten braver over the years and you don't cry anymore...but I know it still hurts; I want you to know it's okay to say that...and even to cry sometimes if you want or need to!

You're dealing with some hard stuff, sweetie...much more than I ever had to at your age....and you're doing an incredible job!!! You've learned so much more than I could have imagined you would over these past few years. And you've grown and matured beyond your years....it's bittersweet to me. You've learned how to make healthy food choices, count carbs, check your sugar, work your insulin pump, recognize when you feel low...the list goes on and on. Most kids your age don't even know what carbs are, let alone how to figure out how many they are eating or drinking! You've made me proud by learning to become (mostly) independent with your D-tasks...but at the same time it makes me sad that these are things that you've had to learn.

Although you haven't come right out and said it, I know you've been a bit burned-out lately dealing with D...I see that look in your eyes when you're interrupted from your fun to deal with D. I wish with every ounce of my being that I could just take it all on myself for you...even those nasty glucocoasters. But since I can't really do that, I'll do the next best thing. I promise to be the best mama pancreas I can be and to relieve you from your sugar checks, insulin bolusing, and "low" snack grabbing duties whenever you need a break from it all! I know it's not as good as a cure, but it's the best I can do for now....and we'll work together toward finding that elusive cure!

And speaking of the cure....I want you to know how incredibly proud I am that, even at 7 years old, you are learning to be proactive -- fundraising and advocating for better care and eventually a cure! You aren't just sitting around waiting for the cure to happen. You're doing great things and making a difference, not just for you but for everyone out there living with Type 1 diabetes...and those who haven't yet been diagnosed.

I'm not sure if I ever told you this before, but...ladybug, you are my hero! You've been faced with more in your 7-1/2 years of life than many people are faced with in a lifetime...yet you don't let it get the best of you or drag you down, instead you are taking the lemons you've been handed and making lemonade!

I love you my ladybug!

Forever,
Mommy

Admiring our Differences....Diabetes Blog Week 2011 - Day 1

Today kicks off the start of the 2nd Annual Diabetes Blog Week!

The topic for the day is: Admiring Our Differences; pick a type of blogger who is different from you and share how they inspire you and why you admire them!

I first found the DOC in 2006, about a year after Charlotte was diagnosed with T1. Not sure what I was trying to search for, but I somehow stumbled upon six until me ...and I was hooked. Until that time I didn't really know any adults living with Type 1...and I had no idea what sort of impact T1 might actually have Charlotte's future. Although, there were many people who were "happy" to tell me all about the grim future that was in store for her...there were several people who were happy to discuss with me how sad it was that my little girl (yes, she was only 2 at the time) would never be able to grow up and have her own children...um, thanks! And I even had a "lovely" (eyes rolling to the back of my head) Case Manager from our insurance company tell me how Charlotte would ultimately end up losing her kidneys or legs before adulthood if I didn't get her blood sugar under control quickly (this was told to me within 2 months after her diagnosis during her "honeymoon" phase...I can only imagine what she'd have to say to me now with some of our glucocoastering we've been dealing with recently). So, clearly, finding Kerri's blog and reading through her posts was a welcome change from the doom and gloom that was being spouted off to me on a pretty routine basis.

More recently, I've also found a few other adult bloggers with T1... K2 at Diabetesaliciousness, Valerie at the dLife, and Kim at Texting My Pancreas. Each of these awesome ladies has something a little bit different to offer...yet each gives me hope that, despite the many challenges D will throw her way, my little girl will grow into a confident, healthy adult able to do whatever it is she so chooses.

As a D-mama, being able to read through the blogs of adults with T1 is invaluable. Charlotte is still young and might not be able (or willing) to express to me how D makes her feel, physically and emotionally. So being able to get even a glimpse into T1 from the person's (rather than parent) perspective has helped open my eyes to things that I may not have realized could be (or is) a concern of hers...and I imagine that this will be even more true as she gets older! These folks know D inside and out and to hear what they are thinking and feeling lets me know what my little girl might likely be thinking and feeling...and what might be in store for her down this long road ahead!

Happy Mother's Day

Sending my love to all the Mommas out there this Mother's Day!

Being a mom is something I always knew I wanted to be. As a little girl, I dreamed of having a baby of my own to hold and love. Nearly eight years ago, I started my journey into motherhood. I knew it wouldn't be all sweet-smelling baby heads and chubby little baby feet. But what I didn't know then was that I would be chosen as a D-mama (and become part of this very special group of ladies)...which comes with some seemingly-impossible challenges, but also with the most amazing rewards!

Charlotte and Mommy - 2004

Tonite, while reading Hallie's blog post on The Princess and the Pump, I came across a link to her Mother's Day post from last year. It includes one of my favorites, Erma Bombeck's story "How God Selects the Mother of a Diabetic Child"....definitely worth a click over to read it if you haven't come across this before. Each time I read it, it makes me stop and realize that we were indeed chosen for this position as "D-mama" because we possess a special set of qualities that help make this life work us (although somedays it may not feel that way).

Happy Mother's Day to each and every one of you!


And a special guest post by Charlotte:

To all the mommys with kids like me!

Roses are red, violets are blue
Candy is sweet and so are you!

Thanks for taking such great care of me (and all the other kids with D).
We all appreciate you dudettes (hehehe)

You are the sun and you are fun!

Have a great Mother's Day!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Not Nice FedEx

It's been a long time coming...and the day is nearly here! Apparently on Monday "Dexie" will enter our lives...woohoo!!!

This past Wednesday morning I finalized all of our paperwork with the awesome people at Dexcom. I could have jumped through the phone line and kissed the man on the other end when he told me that they would ship Charlotte's Dexcom the same day and it would arrive at our home in 2-3 days. I was happy and content knowing that "Dexie" would make her appearance more than likely on Monday (figuring no delivery on the weekend). Wednesday afternoon I got the email from FedEx providing the tracking number for the shipment. I can't even begin to tell you the number of times I've clicked on that little link...not sure why I'd think anything would change from the "Estimated delivery: May 2, 2011 by 4:30pm". But Thursday evening I noticed that the shipment had left Memphis pretty early in the afternoon, so I felt pretty hopeful that the delivery might be earlier than the "estimated" date. So this morning I faithfully opened that email (yet again) and clicked the link...I literally squealed with delight when I read "April 29, 2011 8:18AM: On FedEx vehicle for delivery". I waited patiently all day for the knock on the door. Around 2 o'clock there was a knock at the door....and a FedEx van!!!! I opened the door and saw the delivery guy getting back into his van...I knelt down and saw a small box on the porch....delivery for hubby's work...boo for me (yay for Jay, I guess)! So I figure maybe there's another truck on its way and "Dexie" will just arrive a little later. Back inside I go. I wait and wait and wait...finally just after 5pm I click on the link again (as though there is some GPS tracker attached to our package allowing me to see exactly where the package is)....and staring back at me like some cruel joke: "April 29, 2011 5:04PM: At local FedEx facility: Package not due for delivery"....wtf?!?!?! WHY???? If the package was out for delivery, why would you not just drop it off????

Not Nice FedEx....how dare you toy with a D-mama's emotions like that!!! I would have been perfectly content with the original estimate of the Monday delivery until you reported that our little "Dexie" was out on the truck today taking a tour of our town. Waiting until Monday for her arrival is going to seem like torture now!

(Please forgive the music choice (if you choose to click to listen)...this particular "selection" was chosen in honor of my sweet (yet sarcastic) hubby since he came home teasing me and singing this song (by none other than Dexy's Midnight Runners...who knew???) after my earlier post about Dexie ...but seriously Come On FedEx, we're waiting on our "Dexie"!!!!)

The little things....

A few months ago, Charlotte received a special gift from a very kind-hearted person. We have no idea who the gift-giver is...but I imagine that she/he must be experienced with Type 1 and clearly knows that often times it's the little things that make the biggest difference.

When Charlotte opened her gift she was beyond excited to find the most precious heart-shaped leather case for her meter and testing supplies (from Myabetic)...and was even more tickled when she opened the case and discovered that it turns into a butterfly! 

 Charlotte asked, almost immediately, if we could move her testing supplies from her old case to the new one...of course, I couldn't resist! She loves carrying her pretty little case with her when we go places on the weekends and after school! And I love that it has more pockets and elastics than her previous cases and it holds nearly everything she might need for her D to spend a day away from home...all in one adorable little bag!

I'm always looking for ways to help make Charlotte's d-management a little less dreary (not the easiest of tasks). We have a few different meter/supply cases (although none nearly as precious as the Lovebug). We've gotten a few different pump skins for her insulin pump (she's a big fan of the pink/purple "swirl") and tried out Groovy Patches to make her pump sites more "fun". And I can't forget the adorable pump pouches we've gotten from Amy's Too Sweet Boutique...the adorable fabrics and designs FAR exceed my previous seamstress attempts (although my sweet girl still sometimes requests an old pouch I made for her).

It seems that lately Charlotte has been feeling that D is a miserable "chore". She's clearly annoyed by having to check her sugar and "dial up" a bolus to correct her sugar or cover her carbs and she'd much prefer for anyone else to handle these tasks for her (can't say I blame her for feeling that way). So to help keep the D-burnout from taking it's toll already (only 5 years in to the d-life with many more ahead -- unless we find a cure) I'm happy to help out with these tasks. But when I'm not around to help out or she simply chooses to do them on her own its nice to know that having a pretty little bag or "fun" pump skin helps make these tasks a little less "chore-like"...and that's important!

It's truly the little things that make a difference!

How did we live without "her"???

Before I start on the "real" post...I thought I'd mention a  few of the changes/updates I've made here over the past few days. First, I've set up an email address and included this info on my "About Me" page (feel free to send me an email and say hi!). I've also added a badge for my new Facebook page; if you're on fb please click to "like" my page...I plan to update the page with links to my blog posts and some extra little D-related things too! And finally, I've added a page/tab with information about JDRF's 2011 Children's Congress...and I've included a link to Charlotte's delegate profile and video (I just couldn't resist being the proud D-mama I am). 


So the day finally arrived...I can't believe I waited so long to set this up. Last Tuesday Charlotte and I (and a "tag-along" Amelia) met with the Clinical Specialist from Dexcom and started Charlotte's Dexcom trial! I actually first learned about Dexcom about 3 years ago from this link over at SUM. Not long after reading that blog post, I had the opportunity to attend a conference for work and one of the sessions was about CGMS...the information provided was amazing to me and really got me thinking more about the advantages of the device. I'm not sure what kept me waiting so long before deciding to really pursue it...maybe it was Charlotte's young age and limited "real estate" on her little body...but I do know that just the thought of being able to truly see the "whole picture" has been weighing on my mind since the moment I realized it actually is possible!

To be honest, Charlotte was a little reluctant about trying this "thing" out...she was not thrilled at the idea of yet another site :(   But I encouraged her to at  least "try it out" and agreed that if she decides she truly doesn't like it than I'll drop the issue (at least for a little while). Fortunately, not a negative word has been uttered since last Tuesday...and I think she "secretly" likes having it (I've "caught" her checking it several times without her knowing I'm watching, lol)!

As I suspected I've been completely obsessed with this handy-dandy little gadget. We started on Tuesday and that evening I think I checked the thing like every 10 minutes or so...I've definitely chilled a bit since then...but I still get a thrill everytime I peek and get to see what is going on with her sugar without having to actually poke her! And I love being able to see that flat arrow when we check her at night so that I'm not wondering if that sugar looks good but is actually getting ready to plummet down or go shy-rocketing!

All that said, it hit me last night that tomorrow is our last day with "Dexie". I'm a little sad to think about boxing her up and sending her back. But I'm glad to know that both Charlotte and I love it and that she will (hopefully) be getting her her very own "Dexie" in the near future! Now....off to get our insurance paperwork completed :)

When Life Hands you Lemons....

This past weekend was insanely busy, but A TON of fun for Charlotte and me. 

Every year our town hosts a HUGE All-Town Garage Sale day...people from all over come out to participate...and we gets TONS of traffic through our otherwise quiet little neighborhood. So (flashback two years), we decided that this event provides us with the perfect opportunity to do a little fundraising for JDRF! 

We held our 1st lemonade stand to fundraise for JDRF (and provide a little Type 1 education to our community) during our All-Town Garage Sale in April 2009.  It was a lot of fun...and we were excited to have a little extra help with our event...my older sister, her hubby and their two girls (the same age as Charlotte) were in town for the weekend. They were awesome helping us prepare for our stand...making signs, drumming up business at the table, and just being there to support Charlotte and our cause!

Our 1st Lemonade Sale for JDRF (April 2009)

(Unfortunately, we missed out on the opportunity for 2010...the event took place during Charlotte's Spring Break and we had planned our family vacation to take place during that week without realizing that we'd be missing out on our lemonade stand.)

So...I made sure we weren't going to miss out again. We started talking about and mentally preparing for our Lemonade Stand back in January! Charlotte was VERY excited to be able to have another stand! But somehow in planning for other things, I didn't realize the date (yes, again) and her daddy (Jay) booked the weekend to attend a workshop out of town! That wasn't going to stop us though...we decided that not only were we still going to have our lemonade stand...we were going to make it bigger and better than the last one! 

So I called my parents a few weeks before the event and asked if we could pick up our "tent" that we use for our Walk...and sent hubby to pick it up! We decided that not only would we sell lemonade this year, but we'd bake cookies too! And I discovered and used Team JDRF to set up a fundraising website for Charlotte's Lemonade for a Cure!

So, the day before the event...Jay has left for his out-of-town workshop, but fortunately Nonna is able to help me out by taking Amelia for the night before. I head out at 4pm to go get the girls from their bus stop after school and on the way back stop to chat with our new neighbor. Of course, I manage to mention our "Lemonade for a Cure" and she mentions in response that our other neighbors are also hosting a lemonade stand for their grandchildren (just for fun). 

So now I'm thinking we really need to step things up a notch to be successful with our event. Our little table, tent, and poster just aren't going to cut it...but how in the world am I going possibly going to "upgrade" our stand AND get everything done in less than a day??? No problem, I'm Super D-mama right??? 

So...here's how it all goes down:

It's about 4:30pm on Friday afternoon, Nonna takes Amelia and Charlotte for a snowball while I make a run for some last minute items..ice, extra cups (cause I didn't think I had quite enough), and eggs for the cookie baking (cause somehow I forgot those). About 5:15pm, I grab Charlotte from the snowball stand and we drop the ice off at the house and than take off for a last minute trip to Hobby Lobby (gotta love that store!)...grabbed a bright yellow table cloth, some fake lemons and a cute little green bucket, and supplies to make a banner for our tent! We probably spent longer at Hobby Lobby than we should have....so we didn't get back home until almost 7pm and we grabbed dinner through a drive-thru on the way back. Once we got home we started to prepare gallons upon gallons of lemonade and make our signs. Then around 8pm we ran out to stake our small signs around (and just outside of) our neighborhood. Back home by about 8:30pm and starting to bake the cookies...finished that up by about 10:30pm. Then we designed our banner for our tent and off to bed by just after 11pm....Charlotte was exhausted but really excited and so managed to stay up to help out the whole time!  

Charlotte's 2011 Lemonade for a Cure

We were up and getting things ready by 6am on Saturday morning! I'm sure we provided some great laughs for the neighbors as we tried to pitch our tent (just me and Charlotte)...this feat took a good 30 minutes (but we got it done!) Charlotte and I got our table positioned and all prettied up and stocked with our lemonade and supplies! 

Our Lemonade Tent...we've "upgraded" since 2009

We had a great time on Saturday and really appreciated our family and friends that came out to support us...not to mention the numerous phone calls from people who couldn't be there checking in to see how things were going and letting Charlotte know they were thinking of her!

Charlotte "working" her Lemonade Stand!

All in all, it was a success! We had a great time (despite the last minute craziness and tent set-up challenge) and it turned out to be a beautiful day to spend outdoors! And...our little Lemonade stand raised just over $200 for JDRF!!!

Our motto:  When life hands you lemons....make lemonade! (thanks Lora!)